


The Unforgivable Sins

by legendsbigandsmall



Category: Original Work
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Comedy, Despite what the title may imply, Dialogue-Only, Hopefully you get at least a laugh out of it, Non-Religious, drunk people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 17:54:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6434455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendsbigandsmall/pseuds/legendsbigandsmall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Bet a crazy cat guy would write the same thing.  But with cats.”<br/>“Yeah!”<br/><strong>Thunk!</strong><br/>“You get really weird when you’re drunk.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unforgivable Sins

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on this article: http://thewritersaurus.com/2015/06/17/3-unforgivable-character-sins/. I read it at a time so late at night it was early and then almost immediately wrote this. It's not to be taken seriously (the story, not the article) and is just what happens when I drink too much fizzy stuff and go on Pinterest way too late for my own good (for some reason this has never happened to me with Tumblr, which is just goes against the laws of nature). Enjoy and remember, comments are love!

“Why are you drinking at four in the afternoon?” 

“It’s eleven-thirty-six at night.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“But I’ve been drinking since five, if that’s what you meant.”

“It wasn’t but that makes sense.”

“Sense?”

“You stink.”

“I always stink.”

“Yeah but I’m used to that stink.”

“Huh.”

“…”

“Whatcha reading?”

“Just different stuff.”

“Like~?”

“Like this: ‘3 Unforgivable Character Sins’.”

“What’s it about?”

“Stuff your readers won’t forgive you for having your characters doing. Child abuse…”

“Makes sense.”

“…Rape…”

“Yep.”

“… and killing off the dog.”

“The dog? What’s that? The sidekick?”

“No, the dog…”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“The dog is the character’s pet. Their canine companion.”

“What’s so bad about killing off the dog?”

“Well, it turns the readers against the character.”

“Yeah, alright, but why dogs? Why not any other animal?”

“Dogs are man’s best friend, I suppose.”

“But what about people who don’t like dogs? There are such things as ‘cat people’.”

“Listen, I didn’t write the article.”

“What’s so important about dogs?”

“Nothing, I guess readers just like dogs better.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. They’re loyal.”

“Loads of animals are loyal.”

“Cats would eat you after die.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean they’re not loyal.”

**Thunk!**

“The stool’s over there.”

“Right, right.”

“…”

“What the hell makes dogs so perfect?”

“You get really coherent when you’re drunk.”

“And argumentative.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“…”

“So, dogs…”

“For God’s sake!”

“I like dogs just as much as the next guy but why does everyone moon over dogs?”

“I don’t know!”

“…”

“Cats have more personality, anyway.”

“Yeah, dogs just kinda adapt to you. Gotta work with a cat.”

“And I suppose fish would be loyal, if you talked to them enough.”

“Thank you!”

“I don’t suppose it really compares to child abuse or rape.”

“Exactly! You rape someone or you kill the dog? You kill the fucking dog!”

“…”

“Why isn’t ‘your readers won’t forgive murder’ a sin?”

“Says here your readers want to believe the victim got what was coming to them.”

“Then why are they called a ‘victim’?”

“Right.”

“…”

“Maybe this guys just really likes dogs.”

“ ‘S probably a crazy dog guy.”

“Bet a crazy cat guy would write the same thing. But with cats.”

“Yeah!”

**Thunk!**

“You get really weird when you’re drunk.”


End file.
